"If in a certain place..." -- I think I see; so if I modelled the Earth as a sort of non-uniform blob of multiple smaller balls with varying gravity, I should expect the "balls" with higher gravity to have more water around them. Imagining all the balls together overlapping eachother, that'd translate to higher sealevels on the surface of the Earth "blob". Something like that?

The answer is better now but still, it just repeats the initial observation that high gravity = higher sealevels. Maybe the answer is somehow really obvious and I'm just missing it. I think what I'm maybe looking for is some diagram that illustrates how the water would behaved in non-uniform gravity or something like that.

+1 for saying "the Rossby number in the toilet" while being completely serious.